Our path to becoming parents was a pretty typical one. Met through friends, dated four years, went backpacking, got engaged, got married, and started trying for a baby. Months and months went by and then it finally happened and we jumped for joy (literally). At 10 weeks we lost our baby and our hearts were broken.
My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years, we were trying to conceive with no luck, so we reached out to a fertility specialist. After having both of us tested, we found out we have male factor infertility and that our doctor believed IVF was our only option. We could not afford that option so we decided to try IUI (intrauterine insemination).
We immediately started trying for a child. I was 31 at the time and my husband was 38. We started by simply stopping birth control. We progressed to cycle monitoring and scheduled intimacy. After a full year of trying I decided to seek help from my family doctor. He was a doctor that worked out of a drop in clinic that I had signed up with out of convenience because I had no real health issues.
When you have a baby after you’ve suffered a loss – or multiple losses, as the case may be – they call it a rainbow baby. But saying you have a rainbow baby doesn’t really tell anyone about your journey to have that rainbow.
You know what’s hard? Being a mom. You know what’s harder? Being a mom and starting up your own business.
But what I found even harder than that? Being a mom, starting your own business and then finding out you are pregnant again!
At first, I thought to myself “Hey, no problem! I can do this. I am up for the challenge.” Until….. haha… until the pregnancy hormones kicked in and all of a sudden I was bedridden from intense nausea and spent my days worshiping the porcelain gods.
I read the baby books, decorated the nursery, registered for the sound machine and baby tub. I took prenatal classes with my husband where we put diapers on teddy bears and practiced buckling the car seat. We took a hospital tour. I packed my bag. I went to prenatal yoga where I would visualize my labour and breath through the pain. I had a plan. I was ready. And I had no idea how wrong I could be.
There’s a saying in life – timing is everything.
But how do you get time on your side? How do you plan things (like getting pregnant) that can’t be planned? When my husband Mark and I decided to start our family we knew we had to try to structure it around my competition seasons. I run my own business where I train, coach and compete dressage horses and students on the international circuit. My daily life before baby was a 6 day work week where I would ride 6 horses and teach about 4 lessons per day.