April has been a very special month for me and my husband, we finally got to meet our little princess Zoey!! April is also special to me now because it is C-Section Awareness month. If you had asked me what my birth plan was before Zoey I would have told you I took all the classes, I did all the prep work to have a natural labour and delivery. I practiced breathing, I took HypnoBirthing classes, I bought the birth ball.
I envisioned my labour and my little girls entry into the world. I was ready. I was excited!
Then at 41 weeks 1 day, it all went out the window.
It was April 1st (one week past my due date) and I was praying I would go into labour every other minute. I knew on April 2nd I would see the doctor and there was a good chance I would be induced, -I really wanted to go naturally. It was my plan. So that night I walked around the neighbourhood, I bounced on my birth ball and I went to bed hoping labour would start soon. I woke up at 2:30am having contractions and I was so excited! I got out my timer and debated waking my husband, but an hour later it all stopped. Defeated, I went back to sleep and then woke up to head to my doctor’s appointment in the morning. We packed the car thinking “hey you never know” and boy I’m glad we did! I knew walking into my OB’s office would be the last time that morning. What I didn’t know was that she would tell me I needed to be admitted to the hospital right away as I had no water left around my baby girl.
Panic set in, but Carlo and I knew:
Today is the day our lives change forever.
Hours passed and they checked me in. I walked the halls trying to get my contractions closer together, eventually I had to stop walking during contractions so I could breathe and again I was so excited. I thought I was at least 4cm at this point. They checked and I was at 2cm. At around 1pm they needed to put me on Pitocin to get things moving. This wasn’t what I wanted, but I knew my little girl needed to come out so I said okay let’s go! Well 2 hours later I’ve never felt more pain. They had me on a low dose and my contractions were so close together I could hardly breathe through one to the next. In my mind I knew this wasn’t what contractions should feel like, they then told me that my baby was face up. At this point Zoey’s heart rate was dangerously high and the nurses looks of concern couldn’t be hidden anymore. They changed my position, but took away any fluids and told me that I couldn’t eat anything. I knew this was a bad sign. The doctor came in and I thought I must be like 8cm dilated now!! He checked. I was 3cm. And it was the most painful exam I had ever had. I remember crying saying I can’t do this anymore, the pain was so bad and came so quickly I knew I needed the epidural. They said the anesthesiologist could be a while, I remember saying I would pay $100 him if he came now! I wasn’t even kidding. I have never been so scared. I am terrified of needles, never had an iv and here I am getting a huge needle in my back in the middle of a contraction that I can’t move a muscle through. Carlo was my rock, he held me still and looked into my eyes and promised I would be okay. Then the meds kicked in. I almost fell asleep instantly. The relief was immense and I knew I could get through now that I wasn’t in so much pain. Carlo went to eat dinner with my mom while I rested with my life saving Doula, Carol Anne. Maybe 5 minutes later the doctor came in to read Zoey’s heart rate monitor.
He leaned down over the bed and looked me in the eye and said “I’m sorry Kelsey, we need to take you for an emergency C-Section”.
My world stopped for a moment.
I remember asking when and he responded “right now, another lady was about to go up but we need to take you first”.
I broke down – not because this wasn’t what I had planned, but because my little girl was in danger. In this moment with my husband out of the room, Carol Anne took my face in her hands and said: “This is okay – YOU are okay!”
I knew then I had to be strong. Not only for myself but for Carlo and for Zoey.
She was the only thing that mattered in that moment.
They went to get Carlo and within 5 minutes I was on a stretcher being wheeled into surgery with Carlo holding my hand.
It’s so blurry looking back.
I remember having the shakes.
I remember all of the sounds in the operating room.
I remember them asking again and again ”Can you feel that?”
I remember the pressure.
I remember the moment that I heard my baby girl cry for the first time!
And then, my whole world changed!
I remember looking at Carlo and just saying “that’s our baby!” I couldn’t see her or hold her or touch her but I could hear her cry and it was beautiful. I instantly knew this was how it was meant to be, she was meant to be born this way. I wasn’t scared anymore. I knew all the plans I had made couldn’t matter less, my birth plan didn’t work out, but I had a healthy and beautiful baby.
I instantly knew: This was how it was meant to be. She was meant to be born this way!
I wasn’t scared anymore.
Carlo got to hold her while I was in recovery, those are moments he will never forget and ones he may have never had if Zoey hadn’t been our little c-section baby.
Zoey is 2 and a half weeks old today, I’m healing and slowly able to do more everyday.
Recovery isn’t easy – no matter HOW you give birth! And YES! Having a C-Section IS still giving birth. If anyone tells you different, they clearly aren’t a mom, or a nice human – so ignore them!
My baby girl is perfect in every way, and I thank all the doctors and nurses for making sure of it. I am so grateful. Every birth is beautiful, thanks for letting share mine!
Happy C-Section Awareness Month
Kelsey is a 26 year old new mom to baby girl Zoey Lyn. She works as an RMT and is currently enjoying her time off raising her new little girl with husband Carlo.